2012/12/21

Phew!

Wow, that apocalypse nearly took my eye out!  I assume that because you're reading my blog that you've made it through the crucible and have come out unscathed - or at least with your internet connection intact.



Many people feel that the end of the Mayan calendar symbolized not a physical destruction of our planet, but rather signals a spiritual awakening of global proportions.  I'll be the first to support the latter notion.  In fact, I had an important epiphany last night - one that kept me awake with wonderment, far into the night.

Yesterday I decided that because four pairs of my most favourite "holey" jeans required repairs, that I would sacrifice one to save them all.  To that end, I dug out my mother's sewing machine (oh drat, that secret is out... yes Mom, I absconded to Nova Scotia with your machine) and set about cuttin' and cannibalizin' for the greater good. 

It was my plan to take the leg fabric from one pair and sew it on to the others, replacing the holes in the knee with largely undamaged fabric.  I'd chosen the sacrificial pair of jeans because not only was the right knee perforated, but the crotch had also sustained irreparable damage.

I had just dissected the sacrificial pants by removing the front and back leg flesh, when a glorious wave of peace and understanding gently washed over me.

Those poor women who wear incredibly short pants are not actually trying to show off their buttocks, but rather they have made the ultimate sacrifice - saving a few meager dollars so that another member of the family might go forth into the uncharted wilderness of society, secure in the knowledge that their denim work pants had been repaired at great sacrifice.



In the famous words of Alexandre Dumas and the Three Musketeers - All for one, and one for all!

2 comments:

  1. All "frankenpants" are missing is the jewels from the Bedazzler!

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    Replies
    1. My doG, a bedazzler - bloody brilliant!

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